Rosie's departure has prompted me to post

Well,

After a week or so without posting, I've returned, and I've got a lot to say.

Speaking of having things to stay, Rosie's leaving The View. I've loved watching Rosie this year on television, as she brought her liberal, lesbian, sass to America. She'll certainly be missed. On behalf of myself, and my readers, I'd like to give a big Avi K shout out to Rosie. At least there'll be one less show for me to Tivo next year. Unless they get someone even better to replace her, like Elaine Stritch.

In other news, I finished playing in the pit of that musical that I was rehearsing for a couple of weeks ago. One of the cast mates, let's just call him "Master Splinter," was big and black, and as a result, wanted to have sex with me. So I had sex with him. Pretty crazy, right? He called me on Monday, but I don't think I'm going to call him back. I'm a real playa that way.

Finally, tonight is my big concert at school. Everyone reading this should come. Really, even if your a reader who I don't know personally, like that minister who blogs about gay people. Come on. It's going to be a fun time.

C-Town Highlights

Here are a couple of highlights from my weekend in Cleveland:

I changed my connexion address to Cleveland and went online to see if there were any other people in the area who were gay. Maybe if I was really lucky, I'd discover that someone I knew was gay. Finding out that people turned out gay is one of my favorite interests. Check my myspace for even more interests. Anyway, it turns out that I was the only gay person online in a 25 mile radius from my zip code. Thank g-d I live in New York, where I really take advantage of the gay population.


When I was here in December, my mother met this pianist at a party thrown by one of my neighbors. She asked the neighbor about setting him up with my sister, was informed he was gay, and then asked about setting him up with me. She thought this was really really funny, and kept bringing it up. I don't know. Anyway, she kept bringing it up again on this trip home. Apparently, the next time this guy's in New York, she's going to have him call me, but I kind of doubt that's happening. He's supposed to be very attractive, but I don't think I trust my mother's taste in men. She used to tell me I was the handsomest boy in school, so I'm skeptical at best about this new guy.


Finally, here's a conversation I had with my father, upon discovering the fancy new answering machine he bought.

Me: We got a new answering machine.

Dad: Yeah, well the button on the old one that changed the volume stopped working. I tried taking it apart to fix it, but it still wouldn't work.

Me: Well, we had that one for a while.

Dad: Really?

Me: Yeah. I was in high school when we got it.

Dad: I didn't know we had it that long. I think I need to start writing down when I buy things, so I know how long I've had them when it comes time to replace them.


Well, that's all that's happened in Cleveland this weekend. Who needs the local news when you've got this blog?


PS I'm writing this at the airport, and there are so many birds flying around and chirping here at the gate. I'm hoping none of them make it on the flight, because it would be annoying for all of us on the plane, and incredibly confusing for the bird once it got off.

Back home in C-Town

I'm back in Cleveland for the weekend. Since I arrived, the fun hasn't stopped.

Since there's no Tivo at home, I've resorted to watching the TVGuide Channel, or as I call it, the Preview Channel, since that's what it was originally called. I don't remember what kinds of programs they had in the top half of the screen when I was in high school, but I've got a feeling it was less idiotic than the crap that they have these days. Right now, there's a program on called "Look-A-Like." I only watched the beginning, but it consisted of people who kind of look like celebrities talking with a panel of judges. It was so boring. I hope that the next time I tune in, they have something that's of a little higher quality, like maybe updates about former American Idol contestants.

Question

Everyone,

I'm about to join ASCAP. For those of you not in the know, ASCAP is the American Society of Composers, Authors, and Performers. However, since I'm not currently signed with a publishing company, I will be functioning as my own publisher, and need to come up with a name for my "company." My question to you, my loyal readers, is as follows:

What should I call my publishing company? Keep in mind, I'll have to write this name on all of my music for the rest of my professional career, so it should be something that won't be embarrassing down the road. Thoughts?!?

Five Truths

I was "tagged" to submit five truths about myself. Well, here they are. I would actually imagine that they won't be surprises to most people, but what can I do?



1. While I don't often cry, a lot of television makes me tear up. I teared up when I first heard Melinda Doolittle's story on the American Idol top 24 episode, and yesterday, I teared up watching the Boy Meets World finale, when the kids hug Mr. Feeny and tell him how he'll be with them for the rest of their lives. Seriously, how could that not tug at anyone's heartstrings? That show is so good.

2. When I was a senior in high school, school was cancelled for a couple of days because someone posted a hit-list in the upstairs bathroom. This related to me, because I got in trouble once school resumed, since I couldn't stop making jokes about it. Most of them were really funny.

3. In middle school, I was really into being Jewish, like writing G-d-level Jewish. Yeah. I wasn't being ironic either. I think I was just rebelling against my super crazy Catholic teacher.

4. Every day I work at food research, I go onto wikipedia, and look at the changes that have been made to my high school's page. It's a pretty weird thing to do.

5. I really wish I could write songs and be a hip singer/songwriter. Every once and a while, I'll try writing a song, and quickly give up, because I'm incapable of writing lyrics that aren't ridiculously awful. What a shame?

Well, those are five truths about myself. I've done my best to make them somewhat interesting, and not depressing. I hope you've had as much fun reading them as I had writing them. Post that!

Musical Comedy Madness - Part II

So, on Sunday, after being viciously tricked and misled, I played a six hour rehearsal for this musical. Everything was fine with that, even though I've become so jaded at this point that the show has lost of all of its magic for me.

After the rehearsal, the cast went out for drinks, and since Mr. Music Director promised he'd buy me a drink, I decided to go out with them. JK! I actually went since my goal in life these days is to meet other gay people, particularly one's who aren't constantly trying to trick me. Also, my friend Tin would be there.

Anyway, I got to mingle a little with the cast, including one black guy who actually said to me "you're not gay, right?" I could have died and gone to heaven! There are few things I like more than people not being able to tell that I'm gay. That's right up there with people on the phone not thinking that I'm a woman. I'd have slept with him right there, except, he didn't seem to be that interested, and I'm trying to stay away from black people for the time being. I've had a couple of bad experiences, and really want to date a white person. Am I racist?

I also got to meet Mr. MD's boyfriend, who apparently was supposed to play the rehearsals that I ended up playing. I guess that puts me next in line to be Mr. MD's new boyfriend. The "old" boyfriend, who turned out to be 19, thought that Tin and I were a couple, and then kept asking Tin if he was a top or bottom. He told Tin that he probably was a bottom.

As we all drank more, I became funnier and funnier, so I'm pretty sure a threesome is in store for the future.

Musical Comedy Madness

As many of my loyal followers know, I'll be graduating from school this May. One of my plans for my post-graduate life is to do musical theater in the city. I got a head start on my dreams earlier this week, when I started playing piano for rehearsals for a musical at a local University.

When I arrived at the rehearsal on Thursday, I noticed how cute the music director was. Not only was he cute, but he had bad skin, which I was hoping would drop him down from cute-person league to my league, which I don't yet have a name for. We'd be a match made in heaven! Not only was he cute and possibly in my league, but he was also really friendly to me.
One of the downsides of not being a "nice" person is that I assume that if other people are nice to me, then they must have some sort of hidden agenda, and that agenda could be that they are trying to sleep with me. All of the signs were there: he was slightly touchy with me, told me he'd buy me drinks next time the cast went out, and laughed at jokes I made. Then, he asked me if I could play a six hour rehearsal on Sunday. I was so smitten, that I agreed to play piano for six hours without getting paid!

Well, I got home on Thursday night, and immediately did what any red-blooded young man would do, looked up the music director on several social networking web sites. It turns out that he has a boyfriend. Can you believe it?!?