How Disturbing

Look at this excerpt from an e-mail my mother sent me yesterday:

"Your gr*ndpar*nts were so excited to spe*k with y*u last week. I think th*y are facing their mortality and w*nt to feel conn*cted to their f*mily."

The stars are there, of course, to prevent anyone from googling the e-mail.

A Quick Update

I was just on the phone with a receptionist, and she called me "sir" several times, and didn't even try correcting herself. I'm so happy! I really am a man.

The Sound of My Own Voice

Well, the excitement that i had yesterday morning about doing new and different things has gradually devolved into something else, something that's less fun and optimistic. Oh well.

In other news, you know how sometimes when you call someone on the phone, you can hear your own voice, delayed slightly. This happened to me twice this morning. Unfortunately, I can't stand hearing my voice on the phone, so I have to hold the receiver at an angle so that I can still speak into the phone, but can't hear anything that's coming out of it. I hope no one noticed.

Heads up to those who know me

Maybe I'm still a little drunk from last night, but I've decided that I'm about to turn my life around. I'm going to do what George did on that Seinfeld episode where he decided to do the opposite of everything he normally did. Was that the episode where he got engaged to Susan? It's been a long time since I've seen it.

Anyway, I'm thinking of actually seeing a therapist to fix myself, and maybe even getting those colored contacts I keep talking about. See, normally, I would never do anything like that. Get ready world, here I come!

Fitness Help

I was browsing the Internet, looking for info on a Discovery Channel show called Planet Earth, that I saw in an Internet ad that looked interesting.

Anyway, I started looking at the website for Discovery Health, and saw a photo of a person lifting weights. I was obviously intrigued, and noticed that there were some general fitness tips. I'm always looking to get into shape, so I clicked on the link.

Look how annoying these tips are!
http://health.discovery.com/national-body-challenge/fitness-program/tips.html

I don't have kids, so I can't play tag with them. At this rate, I'll never have the hot bod I need for tonight.

Dissapointing Day

We usually have bagels on Friday here at food research. It's something to look forward to during the monotonous and boring week. However, there was nothing today. Absolutely nothing. I'm going out of my mind here.

One of the reason's that I'm so crazed today is that I'm seeing someone tonight for the first time in several months. I have to look really really good tonight, so that I leave a memorable and highly sexual impression. It'd be great if I could look more Aryan also. I'm afraid to put any dye in my hair though, since I'm pretty sure my hair will all fall out if I do anything unusual to it. I'm too grossed out by anything eye-related, so I'm not going to put any blue contacts in either. Other than that, does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can look really good, Aryan or not?

PS A Google search for Aryan leads to many scary websites. Also, I may have put food research on some watch list by searching for term here at the office. Whoops!

Growin Up

I'm at food research, and have been making calls since about 9:30, and have only been called ma'am once so far this mornig. I think that's a personal best for me. I'm really turning into a man.

Apartment Shopping

My parents are always talking about buying an apartment in New York. They won't ever do that, because it would be too wonderful, but they seem to be getting slightly more serious about apartment shopping, because found a couple of places in the paper, and had me check them out. So, this afternoon, my friend Asian and I checked out this apartment.

The place was okay, even though there was hand railing around the hall, which made me think that it was the apartment of an old person, who probably died in the apartment. Also, the real-estate agent probably thought that Asian and I were a gay couple. The apartment would probably be pretty good for a gay couple, since one of the living room walls is made up of sliding doors covered with mirrors. It felt like being in a dance studio. And I love to dance.

"Bolthouse Farms - yummy" Part 2

I really like fruit drinks that are delicious and filled with the vitamins and minerals that make me as healthy as I am today. Bolthouse Farms is a brand that comes in many delicious flavors, and in sizes that go beyond single servings.

Well, I was browsing the internet today to see if I could figure out a way to get them shipped to me in bulk, especially since the grocery store with the best prices has such a small selection. Well, apparently many people have had similar thoughts, because when I searched "Bolthouse Farm shipping" the top hit was a blog post that was filled with comments about how average people discovered the blog by searching the internet with the same query.

The blog post itself is pretty boring, mostly about how much the poster enjoys the Bolthouse Farm Green Goodness drink. And who wouldn't? It's filled with all kinds of green fruits and vegetables, such as broccoli, kiwi, and apples. They've even thrown in some dragon fruit. Anyway, there are over twenty responses on the blog, many about the questionable corporate practices of Bolthouse Farms. However, Bolthouse Farms certainly have their defenders, as it's hard not to sympathize with any company who makes drinks as delicious and nutritious as they do. I hope that by mentioning the words "Bolthouse Farms" and "Shipping" in this post as often as I do, this blog post will become the new home of Bolthouse Farms drink discussions.

Incidentally, it's apparently impossible to get Bolthouse Farms drinks shipped to anyone personally. At least that's the way it is right now. I'm sure if we put our heads together, we can figure out a way to make it happen.

Here's the infamous blog page.
http://www.aaronwall.com/archives/000660.html

Something Else

Also, check out this website and look at Luke's story.

http://www.slhduluth.com/

I found the summery of the story that appeared on the home page to be pretty funny. I clicked "continue" and read more about it, and then it wasn't as funny anymore, so I wouldn't recommend doing that. But at least look at the home page.

Bored_at_work@foodresearch.ca

I've been incredibly bored at work these past couple of days. I'd explain to you what I'm doing at work, but it'd be far too boring to waste valuable blog space with. However, I've been killing the time, not only by browsing many different websites and waiting for them to update their recaps of television show, but also by writing e-mails to people.

I know this may not seem like much, but I'm really bad at writing e-mails in a timely fashion. How bad, you ask. Trust me, you don't want to know. Let's leave it at that. Anyway, between yesterday and today, I've written valuable e-mails to two former professors of mine, two current professors, a New York music director, my boss at camp, his neighbor, and a bonus e-mail to my friend Stinky L.

I'm being so productive that I'm going to reward myself by reading more recaps of tv shows. Wish me luck.

Endurance Questions

Has anyone not been watching Endurance this season?

Aren't some of the players awful?

I know I've already devoted much of my blogging to deal with my tv.com posts on the Endurance forum, but here I go again. I was browsing the Endurance forums and came across this topic.

http://www.tv.com/endurance/show/12958/top-10-most-hated-players!!!!!!/topic/6854-677718/msgs.html?tag=board_topics;title;1

The topic is about the most hated players in the long history of the game. Some people were hating on one of my favorite players of all time, Willa. I defended her, and indicated my support for the hatred of Cealey, the true villain of this season.

I guess the final question of the day is: what kind of response will my post get? Support? Criticism? A cry for a new alphabet game? These questions are truly invading my soul.